@iMikosnyc: Why yes, person on the Internet, I would love to make $596 per day sitting at home. Let's do this!!!
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@GabbbarSingh: People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. Him: Ma'am, for the last time, we don't have a limit on how much liquor you can buy.
@murrman5: [catching breath at friends house] I was being chased by a bike cop so I threw up a left turn signal but actually turned right and it worked
@hangin_out: During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, "where should I put my pants"? "Over there by mine", was not the answer I was expecting.