@iMikosnyc: Why yes, person on the Internet, I would love to make $596 per day sitting at home. Let's do this!!!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@timdonakowski: Butterflies have 1,200 eyes. That means they spend 7 months taking out their contacts every night.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] Says here you're good with nicknames? "I don't wanna brag Super Cool Interviewer Man" *under his breath* holy shit he's good
@HehBuddy: I super glue one jar of pickles shut and leave it out at the barbecue then watch the humiliation unfold.
@buttnight: I came home to a trail of bread leading to the bedroom & of course I followed, only to find my husband in bed with 10 ducks. I'm heartbroken