@robfee: Why'd it take Little Red Riding Hood so long to figure out it wasnt her grandma? I can tell after like 2 questions if its a wolf or my nana
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@pizzajaynow: I've spent the last six months trying to find my Mother-In-Law's killer, but no one is willing to do it.
@GinRumMe: Don't go chasin' waterfalls. If a waterfall isn't staying in place you probably have bigger things to worry about. Run for your life.
@OBiiieeee: girls love us tall guys but as soon as we use our height to "constantly slam dunk on them and their loved ones" they stop replying to texts
@Reverend_Scott: [school] Ok class, what was Abraham Lincoln most famous for doing? Billy? "Abolishing slavery." And... "Slaying vampires." Very good.