@KeithSantagato: #WhyDoPeopleThinkItsOkayTo replace letters in words with numbers....well now i don't feel like reading the math equation you just sent me
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@TheDailySchmuck: People have underestimated me my entire life, and they've been wrong on like two of those days.
@simoncholland: I was going to sign this permission slip to let my daughter watch The Grinch at school but I haven't heard back from North Korea yet.
@notacroc: [Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out