@byrdie_num_num: Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps.
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@TheMichaelRock: Helping my 5yo with his homework. Does anyone remember how to write the alphabet? Like with a pencil?
@Book_Krazy: *Steals parking spot from guy backing in* Him:*middle finger* Me: [rolls down window] I SEE THAT YOU'RE NOT MARRIED. I ALSO AM NOT MARRIED
@JanelSantaCruz: "What about flying rats with no poop muscles and scissors for mouths?" - God creating birds