@byrdie_num_num: Wife and I made a deal. She gets to keep hair on her legs, and I get to keep my opinions to myself. Baby steps.
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@TheToddWilliams: [Hall of Justice] Aquaman: How do you expect me to ignite the TNT below Kaiser's floating fortress? Waterproof Match Man: Maybe I can help.
@justabloodygame: [shopping for make-up] "Excuse me, what will make my eyes pop?" "I know exactly what you need." [boots you into the vacuum of deep space]
@Home_Halfway: Every time the media has to report on Trump they should misspell his name and call him Mr. Turnip until he loses his mind completely