@Darchstar007: Wife: every time we argue, you think you're right. Me: yes, because if I thought you were right, I wouldn't be arguing...
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@rolldiggity: Hate when I'm being chased by a shark and I make it to land, only to find out he's tied to the back of a tiger.
@ambamthankyamam: Bicyclists, it's one thing to hog the road, but it's quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
@trevso_electric: The worst feeling is when you miss someone but you can't even tell them you miss them because they are a pizza.
@seamussaid: I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write