@lecalabara: Wife: I finally caught you. I could hear it from the other room. You were watching a dirty movie. Me: No. Its just womens tennis.
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@RdrJay47: I'm sorry I said the Nazis were also a party when you invited me to celebrate your kid's first birthday.
@Illiter8: When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
@ClickBaite: Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now