@DouchyDocLove: Wife just changed her Facebook status to "It's complicated." Better go see what she wants.
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@Ndeshi_M: Bailiff: State your name for the court Hr: Clara Sofía Alba Constanza Guadalupe... Judge: That’s enough I want to get out of here b4 lunch!
@AsphaltFarmboy: My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said "WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."