@thestlouisan: Wife just said "burgs" instead of "burgers" and now I'm a little scared to think of what she's going to do with all the time she saved.
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@chuuew: ME: hi handsome, is this seat taken? BUS DRIVER: yes, but you could literally sit anywhere else
@clarkekant: I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're. There so stupid.
@scorpicpanda: If there's awkward silence & he asks what you're thinking about "emotionally damaged werewolves" is not the best answer. I know this now.
@markydoodoo: Mechanic: the front shocks are shot. Did you hit a pothole? Me: yes but I winced, patted the dash & said I was sorry so it can't be that.