@cambuslad: Wife just shouted to me to get my big chopper out .After the panic subsided, I realised she meant we were out of firewood for the stove.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LittleMissZesty: Me: I'm not saying I hate your voice, but when you start talking, I understand the way dogs feel about fireworks. *howls* Co-worker:
@OzCricketFan81: Special shout out to the CIA, who were pouring cold water on people BEFORE the "ice bucket challenge" made it cool
@joejwest: [jail] ME: I want my phone call COP: Ok. Make it count ME: [dials payphone] [cop's mobile rings] COP: Hello? ME: Please let me go
@2tickytacky: In your selfie, you had rabbit ears and little whiskers. You don't really have any of those things! Catfish! Just like rainbow tongue girl.