@amishschool: Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying "keys" in case I thought they were llamas.
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@julie2288: Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird... She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn't a stick of pee
@djdarrellripley: Her: All the men have jackets on. Why didnt you wear the sports jacket I got you? Me: You bought me a ski jacket Her: Skiing is a sport!
@VaguelyFunnyDan: My wife is enjoying the attention I've been giving her lately & though painting a phone on her face is inconvenient, it's saved our marriage