@TheBigBatman: Wife left a note on the fridge it says "It's not working, gone to my mom's" I opened it and opened a beer, it's cold, the fridge works fine?
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@DirtMcTurd: Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times? I tried that with my dishwasher and she ended up pregnant.
@TheToddWilliams: COP: Your home was robbed ME: Dang I had a self-designed alarm system C: Didn't work M: Back to the drawing board C: They stole that M: Dang
@RandomlyMJ: My exes new girlfriend has been calling me looking for him for days. It got old. I gave in and sent her the map and shovel.