@BradBroaddus: Wife must be planning to paint the house. I found plastic & tape under our bed. Not sure what the shovel & pistol are for.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Brianhopecomedy: Did a somersault for the first time in years. I know that's not a good tweet but I'm getting bored lying here waiting for the paramedics.
@bobvulfov: GPS: left—left again—take another left—ur gonna want to take this left—stay left NASCAR DRIVER: why is there a gps in here
@HTownHarold: Guys guide to AC levels in car with spouse: If you're hot, she's cold If you're comfortable, she's cold If you're cold, she's not in the car
@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.