@david8hughes: [pinned down by sniper fire] Squad leader: I'm going in. Hughes, lay down some cover for me Me [putting a blanket on the floor]: you betcha

@CorkyKneivel: Pretty messed up that every year I swallow 8 spiders. And none of them ever call me again.

@david8hughes: [leans over to kid watching Planet of the Apes in the theatre] Call them monkeys one more time & see what happens.

@pmann555: They say it's not the destination, it's the journey.........Except when you're heading to the bathroom with diarrhea...

@TheMichaelRock: We're shutdown, but not 'stop collecting taxes' shutdown. - the government