@VeganZebra: WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could've used the word 'bloodthirsty' a little less
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@Neauxpe: The last time I wore a red shirt, I went to Target and laid off 8 people in the morning team huddle.
@_TayTayJustine: Every time you reply to a text from your ex, Taylor Swift completes another album. Don't be an enabler. Drop the phone.
@hinnaz: Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable.