@VeganZebra: WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could've used the word 'bloodthirsty' a little less
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@protolalia: Me: One day I took my friend- Him: Wait, you have a friend? Me: Yes Him: Wow, ok, go on Me: So I took my friend to the vet for her shots and
@ElKnuckelhombre: Damn, i got hit with the "we need to talk" from my wife. Thank God it was just about divorce. I was scared shitless it was an intervention.
@donni: I told the 8 clowns in a tiny cop car to "clown arrest me! Take me to clown jail!" And they did. Bail has been set at 150 banana cream pies.
@globetrottgirl: Come on Canada, first Celine, then Nickelback, NOW Bieber!? Are you TRYING to provoke a war?