@GrantTanaka: Wife: oh honey, I didn't marry for money, the guy I fell in love with had an easy smile, a sparkling laugh & big dreams. then I met you.
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@Marlebean: [Interviewing to be a mortician] Do you have any experience handling dead bodies? -Well I get my sleepy kids ready for school every day.
@ArfMeasures: DOCTOR: Well, I can't find anything wrong with you. I suspect the problem is heavy drinking ME: Should I come back when you've sobered up?