@headstrong_girl: "Wife stabs husband with squirrel" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?
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@ilovepie84: Whenever I see someone with spider web tattoos on their elbows I spray them with Raid and attempt to flush them down the toilet.
@Kalarlis: what would Netflix even do if i sent them back a DVD of me doing karate they'd have no choice but to add it to their collection i suppose
@TheRealJackDee: Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again.
@slimmy_shady: Getting a cat is SO much easier. Go outside. Put cat food out. Pet whatever comes to eat it. Best 30 raccoons I've ever had. Also rabies.