@headstrong_girl: "Wife stabs husband with squirrel" was on the news.. Does anyone know how to sharpen a Squirrel?
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@Parker_Simpson: Took a screenshot with my iPhone with the intention of texting a picture of my cracked screen.So the answer is no I didn't graduate college.
@rmfnord: Bad enough that literally no one showed up for my Super Bowl party today, but now I can't even find the game on tv to watch.
@daemonic3: It's 4:20 do you know what that means?!? It means only 40 minutes left to get 8 hours of work done.
@djdavemichaels: Do bouncers get paid in toothpicks or are they a part of their uniform, or what exactly is the deal here?