@daddyville: Wife still out of town. I'm afraid if I order Dominos again they will call child services.
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@SamSykesSwears: "If Bernie doesn't get the nom, I'm voting Trump." "Also, if McDonald's is out of chicken nuggets, I'm going to eat 20 scorpions."
@Audenary: DAD: Think an earthquake's coming. MOM: Check Rocky; dogs always know. DOG *analysing seismic data*: I anticipate magnitudes of 6 or more.
@_NTFG_: I party like a Rockstar. A very poor Rockstar who isn't in a band anymore and starts yawning by 9pm and just wants to be home drinking tea.
@minealone6: Saw a deer standing beside the highway this morning watching the traffic go by.Guess he was trying to figure out who's day he wanted to ruin