@BrendanHealy4: Wife texts husband 'Windows frozen', husband texts wife 'try bucket of warm water', wife texts husband 'computer not working at all now'
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@Lisa_Laughs_: Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse.
@Book_Krazy: [quietly] "Always a bridesmaid never the bride" BRIDE: Hey, you're not one of my bridesmaids! "Shhh...this day is about you, not me."
@HairyJew4Life: Me: Why does it take you forever to text me back? *3 hours later* Her: What are you talking about?