@BrendanHealy4: Wife texts husband 'Windows frozen', husband texts wife 'try bucket of warm water', wife texts husband 'computer not working at all now'
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@NoBadHairDays2: A friend asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. My response: Oh, about 20 minutes.
@tastefactory: A funny thing to do would be to text random numbers with "I got the live bees you sent, they'll do nicely"
@Angrea: OMG! A CUSTOMER ALMOST DIED IN FRONT OF ME TODAY!! But then I counted to 10 and put the scissors back in the drawer. She never even knew.
@SardonicTart: Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him