@FatherofTweet: Wife: "The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie." Husband: "Which is this?"
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@WeekendTwitr: Get noticed by more companies on LinkedIn by adding af to the end of all of your job titles.
@ObscureGent: The most disappointing sentence in the human language is "This next song is off of our new album".
@JuliaChildCIA: "I have found our arguments quite useful - almost as useful as those I had with my father." - Spock and the guy I end up marrying.
@jackiembouvier: Maybe, if I sit very still, this nice family at Olive Garden won't notice that I'm sitting at their table eating their bread sticks.