@slimmy_shady: Wife: “Was that lightning?!” Me: “No, they’re taking pictures for Google earth…”
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@PharmerRPh: Of all the bands named after handicapped jungle animals, Def Leppard is my favorite.
@JohnFDaley: There must've been a good reason Zimmerman pulled a gun on his wife. Like, maybe she was walking down the street, minding her own business.
@PaperWash: Age 15: kids are stupid Age 25: kids are stupid Age 35: I love my kids but kids are stupid
@drewtoothpaste: 2019: Tumblr blinks offline, satisfied, having completed its mission of collecting all existing TV and film footage as GIF files.