@hunz74: My 10 year old: "If nothing is faster than the speed of light, how did the darkness get there first." Me: "What?"

@seamussaid: if your religion infringes on people's rights; sorry, you've had hundreds of years to change everyone's mind- obviously that hasn't happened

@sarcasticmommy4: A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, "I need to make your dentist appointment."

@AristotlesNZ: My psychiatrist says we need to work on my intimacy issues but then he's always the one who refuses to snuggle with me on his couch.

@pauleggleston: I saw a statue of Cinderella today. I didn't like it, but I found the plinth charming.