@GrantTanaka: Wife's been away since thursday, we ran out of spaghetti-o's on friday, ate the dog yesterday, burned photo albums for heat today, pls help
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@ComedicBust: [Blind Date] Octopus: [confused] Your profile said you were 40 ounces.. Catfish: C'mon baby, we're already here, let's just have a drink..
@GlennyRodge: My bear's diarrhoea problems are starting to worry me. The vet says he's getting better but he's not out of the woods yet.
@HelloJessicaFox: (My romance novel) “You have a pretty face,” he said. “Thank you,” she said, lifting up her bangs. “I’ve got even more face under here.”