@GrantTanaka: Wife's been away since thursday, we ran out of spaghetti-o's on friday, ate the dog yesterday, burned photo albums for heat today, pls help
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@anhonestmess: A popcorn necklace is a nice way to tell someone you want them to be attacked by birds.
@2tickytacky: I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car.