@WetzelGeek: Wifey put some girly glitter soap in the bathroom. This morning I look like I either just came from the strip club, or showered with Ke$ha.
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@harikondabolu: Indian Brothers & Sisters: You know all those awful things Columbus did to the Native Americans? Just remember...HE WAS LOOKING FOR US
@mjkspeaks: God, grant me the serenity to accept this stolen property, the courage to sell it on eBay, and the wisdom to not get caught.
@OBiiieeee: i thought i heard a dog approaching but it was just some hot girl's keys jingling. i fixed my hair for nothing