@Momtoteens: Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.
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@neiltyson: What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight
@truegritrumble: WIFE: What're the kids doing? ME: Playing lawn darts. W: Is it safe? M: Hope not. W: M: W: Wtf M: Can't afford to send both to college, Jen
@PinkCamoTO: Tried a sample of rosemary mint body wash today and now I smell like a very clean roast chicken.