@living_marble: Wild horses could easily drag me away from anything, even from my favorite activity. Wild horses are super crazy strong.
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@dafloydsta: [date] HER: Do you like Star Wars? ME: Of course HER: Which character do you identify with? ME: *leans in close* The complete void of space
@KeetPotato: [in heaven after crucifixion] jesus: "they were horrible dad, im pleased im not going back there" god: [rubbing his neck] "see the thing is"
@xLiserx: *First Date* Him: You've been really quiet. Everything ok? Me: *Sadly* Your SnapChat photos made me think you were a super intelligent dog.
@DaddyJew: [spelling bee] Narrator: relax Contestant: ok Narrator: I'm sorry but that's incorrect C: what? N: our next contestant...