@SkunkRiverNPS: Wilderness survival tip #32: To deter bears from attacking your tent, simply sprinkle your neighbor's campsite with bacon powder.
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@whereami18: I hope my kids love the gifts they receive for Christmas so I'll have more things to take away when I need to punish them
@LilBlueBlood: Stranger adds me to facebook *has a panic attack* Creepy as hell stranger follows on twitter *does victory dance*
@imadepoopstoday: Bring brownies to work. Spend the rest of the day asking coworkers, "you feelin anything yet?"
@daemonic3: Professor: Today's exam is written. Next week we will do oral Class in unison: I HAVE A BOYFRIEND