@lloydrang: Will I. Am's headstone will read "Will I. Was," completing history's longest set-up to a punchline
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@UniqueDude2: *Blows air in girls face like Nintendo cartridge* "Ok, NOW will you go out with me?"
@theshamingofjay: Waiter: how do you want your burger? Me: *points to girl at another table not taking a picture of her dinner* that rare