@lloydrang: Will I. Am's headstone will read "Will I. Was," completing history's longest set-up to a punchline
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@Jawwwwwsh: Idea: spotify notifies ur friends when they think ur sad like "josh listened to Deja Entendu 30 times this week, Maybe buy him ice cream?"
@ashley_barnhill: My mom once asked if Jack Frost was based on a true story. Jack Frost is a movie where a father dies and returns as a snowman.
@juliussharpe: I used to see people alone at restaurants and feel bad for them. Now I'm with a screaming two year old wondering, "Who is that solo genius?"
@NourHadidi: How to stop checking someone's Facebook page: 1. Delete your Facebook profile 2. Break your phone 3. Give away your laptop 4. Die