@lloydrang: Will I. Am's headstone will read "Will I. Was," completing history's longest set-up to a punchline
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@KeetPotato: wife: "no" me: "its a good name" wife: "keith we're not calling the dog sarah jessica barker, keep thinking" me: wife: me: "woofie goldberg"
@IamEveryDayPpl: Him: Who sings American Woman? Me: Guess Who. Him: Lenny Kravitz? Me: Guess Who did it first. Him: I don't know. Me: Guess Who. Him: ...
@TheMichaelRock: Look, all I'm saying is that the dinosaurs didn't drink alcohol and look what happened to them.