@jake_lach: <-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking
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@AimeeHelene1: Wanted to respond with "Perfect!" but accidentally sent "Pervert!" That's my cue to leave. And sorry, Steve, you're probably not a pervert.
@pleatedjeans: [Donald Duck opens gift] Daisy: It's pants. Try them on! Donald: [stands] STOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME WOMAN
@Brianhopecomedy: Let my 4 year old score his first goal on me in hockey & he said, "NA NA, you couldn't stop me!" so he also received his first cross-check.