@jake_lach: <-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking
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@jessokfine: When someone says "women like you" to me, I assume they're referring to extremely powerful wizards.
@ALF_from_TV: Me: My flight was canceled so I won't be home until tomorrow. Her: but you said you were just going out for milk.
@XplodingUnicorn: Teenager: Bae swag YOLO Me: In better times, people who spoke gibberish like that were burned as witches.