@JimmerThatisAll: Will no one rid me of this turbulent poodle?
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@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.
@carlyken: When it comes to politics I'm an agnostic. I don't believe there's an honest politician nor can I prove that one does not exist.
@bananagrvyrd: Opened the lint filter on my dryer after washing my dog's bedding and another dog fell out.