@JimmerThatisAll: Will no one rid me of this turbulent poodle?
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@Cpin42: Well Bob, I love to travel, and being my own boss is great. But I suppose my favorite thing about being a serial killer is murdering people.
@Home_Halfway: KIDNAPPER: Get in the trunk ME: You're abducting me 4 days before Christmas? K: Heh yep ME: Omg thank you K: What ME: I'm all yours K: Wait
@TheToddWilliams: [Bethsaida 28 AD] BAKER: Such a huge crowd…I'm gonna sell so many loaves "Five loaves please" BAKER: Huh? "Jesus is here" BAKER: Sonuva
@mynameisntdave: ME: how long will it take to remodel my house? CONTRACTOR: only about 2 months [9 years later] CONTRACTOR: ok so we've installed 1 stair