@Donna_McCoy: Willpower? Sure. It's in the garage with my unicorn.
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@DurtMcHurtt: Some guys look classy carrying a flask. I look like a degenerate alcoholic, I dunno, maybe it's my trackpants. Who's house is this?
@SatansTongue: There's something I should tell you... "Oh god what is it" I have crabs "NOOO" *holds up two crabs* "Oh I thought you meant-" And HIV "NOOO"
@jus4golf: I hang out with people smarter than me so when the zombies attack they will eat their brains first while I escape. Who's the idiot now Mom!?
@WheelTod: [Traffic Stop] Cop: Sir, please step out of the car Me: But you said... Cop: I said 3 minutes tops & you promised not to touch the siren.