@Donna_McCoy: Willpower? Sure. It's in the garage with my unicorn.
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@DonQuickoats: I don't always kill spiders, sometimes I stare at them a short while to see if we can reach an understanding
@merseytart: Woman on CNN talking about London's streets being eerily quiet. Mate, it's Sunday. They're not cowering in fear, they're having a lie in.
@InternetHippo: [halloween at the retirement home where i work] Boss: You can’t wear that costume here Me (leaning on my scythe): Why not