@Donna_McCoy: Willpower? Sure. It's in the garage with my unicorn.
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@chuuew: I often find myself singing in the shower, which can be extremely frightening. Is he a clone!? What is this place! SOMEBODY HELP ME.
@dafloydsta: Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff.
@seanoconnz: THIS IS MY LOCKER ROOM TALK GUY: Hey, do you know if they supply towels here? ME: Please don't look at me, my shirt is off.
@knot_eye: I can't be the only one that sees the day when a direct message from a catfish is called carp DM.