@Elizasoul80: Winnie the Pooh is an addict who doesn't wear pants and lives in the woods. If he were a person, he'd be the first suspect in every crime.
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@BrettDruck: May he without sin cast the first stone [Everybody picks up rocks] Sharing Netflix passwords counts as sin [Everybody puts rocks back down]
@msbtx: "Snitches get stitches," I whisper to my 3 year old as he watches me brush Oreo crumbs from the bed sheets.
@LackOfShame: Relationship Status: Married long enough to know when I hear her say "I love you," she's talking to our dog.