@Sean_Burgundy_: Winning a fight with your gf is like winning a vacation to Detroit. Don't get too excited
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@NickSchug: I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote "dentists are liars" into my phone. Not really sure what the plan is with that.
@HughGoesThere: [first day as priest] Me: Do you take this woman as your lawful wedded wife? Him: She's my daughter and this is her baptism. Me: Mazel tov.