@TweetingDadGuy: Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@OakHill_: Marriage Counselor: Maybe you should change your responses to the things your wife says. Me: Fine, I can do that. *two days later* Her: Do these jeans make me look fat? Me: Yep.
@WheelTod: Not saying dogs are better than kids in every aspect; but good luck finding a kid willing to lick up his own vomit.
@usermcuserface: I don't think I'd be as calm as Billy Joel was in that song if an old man was sitting next to me making love to his tonic and gin.
@frogpissmouth: [punches shark on the nose[ shark: that wont stop me me: are u crying shark: no its always wet & salty on my face