@TweetingDadGuy: Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities.
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@Fickle_Filly: It's rude to upstage the bride on her wedding day but that's exactly what's going to happen when I burst into flames as I enter the church.
@tastefactory: COP: We have reports of u blasting music. ME: Sorry I'll keep the Metallica down COP: We were told it was Britney Spears "Lucky." On repeat.
@TheTweetOfGod: "The Bible" running on the History Channel is like "Dragons" running on Animal Planet.
@JayDee422: I'm close to $100,000 deep in student loans for my English degree and I just used the word "awesome" 10 times in a row to describe a guy.