@BruceForce: Wipes away your tears using three precise karate chops.
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@dulcetry: My son will never know the thrill of illegally downloading Thong Song on napster and waiting 1h39m for it to download
@noog: [5 year old tugs on pant leg] Daddy if time stops at the speed of light then photons aren't actually moving, so is everything we see a lie?
@junejuly12: Ever get home, look at your hair in a mirror, and wonder how many small children you terrified while you were out