@DevilryFun: Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit.
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@MrFornicator: Chess says everything about men & women. The King has to take things one step at a time, while the Queen can do whatever the hell she wants.
@asimplesean: I approach. "Girl are you a couch? Cuz I'm gonna try & fail to pick you up." She laughs. "I'm Jen." My training hasn't prepared me for this.
@natalayhehoo: If I ever want to hide something from my husband I'd put it in the dishwasher- he'd never look in there