@DevilryFun: Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Tmoney68: BREAKING: Emotionally disturbed man gets into Trump Tower. He was stopped by security, but not before being named a senior advisor.
@pixelatedboat: "I'm the world champion of hearing," I lied to the girl at the bar. 20 minutes later the real world champion burst in and hit me in the jaw
@ermahgarton: According to my bank account, I'm Rich! Rich Anderson, the name of the man whose identity I stole.
@ch000ch: me: an open casket with my vape pen hanging from my mouth wedding DJ: i meant final requests for songs man