@DevilryFun: Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit.
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@Book_Krazy: Boss: This is the 3rd time I've seen you slacking off today. Do you know what that means? Me: You want me to move the couch into my office?
@UniqueDude2: my son would be amazed if I showed him a first generation iPod because we've never met
@Fred_Delicious: "Hey Barack" "yes Joe?" "I bet T-Rex's took terrible selfies" "Ok Joe" "Because they had..." "Short arms Joe, yes. I get it. I get it buddy"