@Hormonella: Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.
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@Sickayduh: ME: Why are you leaving? WIFE: I have hated every stupid pun of yours since we left Manhasset 20 years ago ME: Manhasset been that long?
@Tommytoughstuff: [I remove my bike helmet, but my toupee comes off with it] "I'm sorry guys, is there something funny about safety?"
@silvertongue37: I could survive 3 months in the wilderness with a pocket knife and the contents of a woman's purse.