@Hormonella: Wish I could focus on anything with even half the intensity of my dog watching me eat yogurt.
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@ericacanrant: You know its my phone if it looks like someone fingerpainted the touch screen in donut glaze.
@LeviKabwato: Nephew drops my iPad, doesn't say sorry but proceeds to offer me a biscuit. His future in Politics is secure.
@SteelCityDawn: A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?