@UrbanDouchebag: Wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard, "Actually sir, we have you on camera."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@80want: inexplicably call ur boss "shortpants" until he gets insecure & buys pants that are longer. dont stop til he looks like a kid in dad clothes
@hippieswordfish: ME: isn't this great?? WIFE: not really ME: *looks down from the top bunk* what's wrong
@Sarcasticsapien: I want to create a show called "Deja Vu" simply for the "Previously on Deja Vu".
@Book_Krazy: I don't do Botox anymore cause when I can't make my angry face, people just assume it's ok to talk to me.