@UrbanDouchebag: Wish I had a dollar for every time I've heard, "Actually sir, we have you on camera."
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@nthonyswan: Airlines. Graciously giving you the choice to have feet, or a personal item, but not both.
@EZSherlock: Spice Girls really missed out when they wouldn't let that girl Pumpkin be in the group
@KeetPotato: me: [answers phone in meeting] "this better be important" wife: "i think we're having a baby" me: [sighs] "you told me that 9 months ago"
@EndhooS: Me: sorry I can't make it to your party tonight but I'm kinda popular & I can't jeopardise that by being seen with you.. Daughter: wtf dad?