@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful
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@PinkCamoTO: Hey, boy. Are you a Swiss army knife? Because you're a smaller, less effective version of everything I need.
@PorkUrPine: Me: *delivers fantastic presentation* Fish Boss: great work! Me: thanks for letting MINNOW what you think! Fish Boss: you're fired.
@_ElvishPresley_: ME: sure, but how often do you come across a good peephole? HER: I asked if you were a "people" person ME: ohhh...definitely not