@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful
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@Schmoodles: Arguing with religious people is like trying to explain quantum mechanics to a potato.
@goldengateblond: College graduates look awfully happy for people who’ll never have an entire summer off again.
@StickyickyBuns: My mom always told me to treat people how I want to be treated but... It's not nice to just spank people & pull their hair.
@birbigs: Twitter action film: MAN 1: Follow me. MAN 2: On Twitter? MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you'll be killed. MAN 2: On Twitter?