@AmberTozer: Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful
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@SamuelHLowe: I forgive you, but I hope your death is written, produced, and directed by Quentin Tarantino.
@SamGrittner: Every horse you've ever seen has two people inside them. Horses aren't real. Commitment is.
@FeelingMervis: Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give a man another fish, "Hey man where's that fish I gave you Monday? YOU ATE IT?! IT WAS A PET!!"