@iGreenMonk: Wish there was a pill I could put in a girl's drink, that would make her do my taxes.
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@josePhDhoran: Give a fish a worm, he lives another day Teach a fish to worm, he becomes the best breakdancing fish around
@mynameisntdave: [diner] ME: I'll have the eggs, please WAITER: how would you like those? ME: painted and hidden for me to find, thank you.
@michaelianblack: The phrase "Whatever floats your boat" is misleading because, practically speaking, the only thing that's going to float your boat is water.
@AntoKenya: Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job...HAHAHAHA! Because it gets FIRED. HAHAHA! *I'm in tears*