@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
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@duplicitron: Probably the rudest thing you can do to a stingray is catch it with a fishing pole and then fly it like a kite.
@david8hughes: [assembling baby's cot] Wife: take that bit off Me [reluctantly removing the machine gun turret]: so anyone can just walk in here then
@KKAlThani: Can't believe Nintendo didn't make a commercial for the Wii where a guy breaks up with a girl by saying "It's not you, It's Wii".
@GrantTanaka: exactly 14 yrs ago today, I pointed at a beautiful woman & said "that's the girl I'm gonna marry one day" but it turned out to be a lamppost