@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
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@mikejanson2: Q: How do you find Will Smith in the snow? A: You look for the fresh prints! I'll show myself out y'all
@CountMackula: Im not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
@shutupmikeginn: A fun prank is to search "buy antique dolls" on someone's computer because then all their Facebook targeted ads are creepy dolls forever
@dumbbeezie: Way down on the bottom of the twitter user licensing agreement in tiny font it says "Say goodbye to your family"