@tsm560: Wishing for bad shit to happen to people you hate is so wrong. You gotta be way more proactive than that.
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@Erroneous_Me: I hate my job, but it pays for my alcohol, and I need the alcohol, because I hate my job.
@audipenny: I looked at a shelf once online and now every ad is like "SO YOU LIKE SHELVES??????" and everywhere i go i think a shelf is following me
@PerfectPending: If you've never said "I love you too" in a way that sounds a tad bit angry, then you must not have kids you are trying to put to bed.
@NicestHippo: Symptoms of mental illness: -Hearing voices -Hallucinating -Complaining about how other people use their social media accounts