@cuppajosh: With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more!
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@KyleMcDowell86: [cop knocks on the door of a steamed up car] [I get out holding a bowl of melted butter & wearing a lobster bib] this better be important
@ComedicBust: Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5...
@BuckyIsotope: Vladimir Putin seems like the kind of guy who would fake a sneeze and flip the board over when he's losing at Risk.