@TheWeirdWorld: With a dog, you have a glimpse into parenting. With a cat, you have a glimpse into marriage.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jergarl: Wife:Have you seen the bag of dog treats? Me:*flashback of drunk me eating what I thought was a bag of beef jerky.. No? W: Really? Idiot.
@david8hughes: [first day as a bartender] Customer: gimme a scotch on the rocks Me [scrunching towel into glass]: I know lemonade, I can do lemonade
@IamEnidColeslaw: it's fun to yell CHEESE! at a group of girls and watch them switch to their Facebook Poses
@stanleybehrman: From my hospital bed it occurred to me, that i could never work in a hospital because there are too many opportunities to nap.