@sweet_toof: With a stolen credit card, who WOULDN'T go straight to Wendy's to get 2 Double Stacks and a small Sprite? So thanks for asking for ID, lady.
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@generaldietz: lifeguard: can you describe the thing that touched you? me: yea...it was like a wet wind chime made out of wieners lifeguard: a squid?
@aligarchy: SUBWAY EMPLOYEE: would you like your receipt? ME: no thank you i don't want any proof that i've eaten here