@emmaberen: with absolutely zero exaggeration I think I can say that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
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@Midgetspar: I get it. True beauty comes from within. But until true beauty can wear lingerie and give a mean lap dance, I may have a few shallow moments
@Holy_Mowgli: ME: this one time me and my friends went camping and- DATE: "my friends and i" ME: so this one time me and my friends and i went camping and
@tonsmorecowbell: My spirit animal is a dolphin because I use sonar to make sure I'm peeing in the toilet every night.
@AnOrangeSNES: I ate the worst cake of my life today, but then again that must have been why it was free at the urinal.