@emmaberen: with absolutely zero exaggeration I think I can say that this is the funniest thing I have ever seen
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@JoParkerBear: Texting while driving is incredibly stupid and dangerous. You're practically begging for typos.
@Nikkeya08: Mom 1: My son's gonna be a pro baseball player Mom 2: Mines gonna be a doctor Me: My son shows strong signs of being able to escape prison
@Pro_Jones_: *Listening to red hot chili peppers* Me: You call that music? I can't even hear anything! Worker: Sir, stop putting produce to your ear.