@juliussharpe: With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia.
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@Just_Lee_: When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. And that tells you everything you need to know about marriage.
@daemonic3: I don't understand the trend of Chinese restaurants with "NO MSG!" signs. Why would I eat somewhere that I can't send texts?
@Fred_Delicious: *Paul Walker shouts down from the gates of heaven* "YO DID I GET A MILLION LIKES ON FACEBOOK? THEY WON'T LET ME IN WITHOUT A MILLION LIKES"