@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: You should be nicer to me. You'll never have another dad. 5-year-old: Don't be so sure. Mom is pretty.
@iRowlf: Sorry I look depressed. It's just that when I heard the sound of your high heels on the hardwood floor, I thought a pony was in the house.
@nd_L_: If only the person that named “walkie talkies” had been in charge of naming so many more household objects.