@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
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@ruinedpicnic: [catches spider in a glass] spider: omg are you going to drink me? me: oh no this is just to take you outside spider: me: spider: drink me
@_Kim_Jongun: Someone in South Korea accused North Korea of having assassination squads. That's a lie. On an unrelated note, I need that guy's address.
@NicestHippo: [Lions watching a romantic comedy about humans] Why doesn't he simply mount her with no apparent warning?