@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
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@StarWarsProblms: Kylo Ren: I am your father. Rey: We're roughly the same age. You're just copying everything Vader said. Kylo Ren: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
@DaddyJew: Your son has been suspended "for what?" He hit a kid who was picking on another child "so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"
@TheHyyyype: WAITER: questions about the menu? ME: is it recycled paper? WAITER: no, i meant about what's on it ME: oh. what kind of ink is this?
@stevevsninjas: [driving date home] me: where do I drop you off? her: here is fine me: you live on the beach? her: *walks into sea*