@baconNmeggs: With grape soda comes grape responsibility.
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@ryaninco: Me: I'll take another drink. Bartender: Would you like for me to call you a cab sir? Me: No it's cool he's driving * points at chair*
@david8hughes: [interrogation] "Where were u on the nite of the 5th?" Stabbing a guy. "Louder for the tape." [leans in] Grabbing a pie. I went out for pie.
@daemonic3: DOCTOR: You should lose some weight ME: Ok I'll consider it VET: Your dog should lose some weight ME: Hey bud, you're going on a diet!