@remmarg_yelsel: With Instagram's new video function, we will now be able to hear the quacks from all the duck faces.
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@Stevie___C: If a dentist make their money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
@OldUncleDaveO: I don't go back to my hometown very often because I've burned too many bridges. And also because I am wanted for bridge arson.
@UncleDuke1969: *climbs into windowless van* *puts on "Free Hugs" t-shirt* *heads out to make new friends* *fails* *waits for lawyer in windowless room*
@notalogin: Girl are you a prescription from my doctor 'cause you might be good for me but I can't read you at all.