@LittleMissZesty: With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed.
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@ItsAndyRyan: WIFE: I can't believe you slept with my twin thinking it was me ME: Cut me some slack – he was wearing your perfume
@TweetsByTheTony: Hey, girl. I noticed you checking out my Hello Kitty socks. Just so you know...the boxers match. *winks*
@suntzufuntzu: bewitching sea ghost seeks unwary sailor for fulfillment of ancient curse, maybe more