@Metalligretch: With my luck, I'll die and get reincarnated as myself.
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@david8hughes: [police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a grey Me: ... My dog: like a light grey. If that helps
@PJTLynch: Wife: Wow, I'm tired Me: Go relax, give me the recipe and I'll make dinner [Five minutes later] Me: Honey, I think we're out of..."oven"?
@treywafer: Dear police: if you're going to racial profile, how about you check out the white boy dressed like he's in the matrix