@histwaddle: People need to stop judging a person by their appearance. Just because i have food stains on my shirt that doesn't mean i have kids.

@FreckleMcPickle: Been married so long it's almost like a first date. Husband is always wondering if he's even gonna make it to 1st base.

@DurtMcHurtt: Women that date guys with bad grammar are the goodest.

@GrantTanaka: [Alien Vs Predator] alien: feeling pretty unwelcome in this country lately predator: oh man look at those cute kids over there

@johnbcrist: I just texted a friend a super hilarious meme and all he did was give it a thumbs up. I've never been more angry.